Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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