I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
