Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
