so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
