Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
