I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We need to rekindle our bromance
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
