I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
