what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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