That's intense
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
