Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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