Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
