At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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