"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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