you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
