the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
