I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize