He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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