she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
