Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
foreskin is a definite game changer
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
