HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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