omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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