Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
