"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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