foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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