Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He? As in you personified your dick?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
