i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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