My hand turned me down
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
