Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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