i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I understand Curling. That high.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
