I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
PANTIES FOUND
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