We need to rekindle our bromance
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
