Christians are straight up FREAKS
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
