The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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