a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
