have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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