Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
