Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
