what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
