Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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