I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
