god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
