He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
