Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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