Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
