Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
