this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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