She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize