I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
