if i died would you start the facebook group?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
