if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Damn victory sex feels great
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
