I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
