Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
