To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
