I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It's just like the Real World with babies
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
