I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
