Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
