Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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