Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We're too hungover to prance.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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