Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize