i think i have two assholes
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He shit in the fireplace
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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