That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize